Foam Evening: Family Home Evening Musings

Home Evenings That Help Teens Defend the Church

Anne Bradshaw — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 12:47:00 +0000

We inoculate our children against harmful disease. Why not inoculate our teenagers against harmful attacks on the Church they face at school by sharing with them accurate material on difficult subjects in the safety of a Family Home Evening setting where they can ask questions and discuss.

The following video clip is right up to date. It deals with recent news items that confuse the FLDS Church with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Teens can even send it via Facebook, or email to friends who misunderstand.

If the clip doesn't play to the end, click on stop, then pull the little arrow further along the bar and release. The end is powerful.

Home Evenings With Lee Ann Setzer's Family

Anne Bradshaw — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 20:08:00 +0000

Author Lee Ann Setzer recently posted an interesting idea for Family Home Evenings on the A Ton of Authors and a Wannabe blog. I thought her idea excellent, and emailed asking permission to post it here.

Lee Ann is the author of several books for children, such as Tiny Talks, the Sariah McDuff series, I Am Ready for Baptism, and Gathered: A Novel of Ruth.

Here is the Setzer family's Adverb Home Evening. This can be adapted to any size, any age family.

1. Get out the hymnbook.

2. Open to page 1, or any page you like.

3. Look at the upper left of any hymn, near the top. There should be an adverb: “resolutely,” “reverently,” “cheerfully,” etc.

4. Now that you know where to look, page through the hymnbook, reading the adverbs. Soon you’ll have a whole list of positive, but very different adverbs. Notice that they tend to cluster—a whole set of “resolutely,” “firmly,” “diligently,” followed by the “happily” family, and so on.

5. Sing your favorite hymns. Try to make them sound like the specified adverb.

6. Now think about yourself. Which of the adverbs describe you? Do many of them describe you, but at different times? Is it “better” to live “cheerfully” or “reverently”? Or are Heavenly Father’s children as varied and wonderful as the songs of Zion? Which adverbs would you like to incorporate more of into your life?

7. Have refreshments...Symphony bars?

POOF! Family home evening!

Home Evenings With Linda Paulson Adams' Family--Part II

Anne Bradshaw — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:24:00 +0000

This week, Linda Paulson Adams continues with more help from her family's wealth of Family Home Evening ideas. In addition to her success as an author, Linda is also a talented musician, and more about this can be found by clicking on this link.

Linda's second book

More from Linda. "We always begin and end Family Night with prayer. That's not optional. Inviting the Holy Ghost to be with us, during the prayer, is pretty important for success, too. Now, songs are wonderful. I love music. I love the hymns and Primary songs with all my heart. They don't always make it into the meeting, although we try - it depends on the patience level detected by our finely-tuned extra-sensory parental perception."

She continues. "I want to share a few ideas we've used that help out in those times when we messed up and planned nothing, the kids are whiny and arguing, and/or Mom and Dad are just plain worn through, but we still want to HOLD THE MEETING."

Here are a few of Linda's ideas:

* Get everyone together in the same room. (This is kind of important.) Have your prayer, and announce a Family Project Night: for the next hour, everyone gets out one of those UFO's (Un-Finished Objects) we all have lying around, and works on it. Smaller children can color a picture or play quietly with a toy. Legos or other building toys work well. Older children are likely to groan and complain at first, but when we've done this, amazingly, everyone is able to find something to do. What we like about this one is that while everyone is in the same room, the kids tend to get along, and conversation remains decent for some strange reason. It's... nice.

* Get everyone together in front of the TV (hang on, I'm going somewhere with this), have your prayer, and pop in a Church or Seminary video or Conference talk. Pay no heed to any whining, groaning, moaning, threatening (as in: "If I have to watch this one more time, I'll poke my eye out with a stick!" My answer: "Help yourself, just don't leak any eye juice on the carpet, please"), or Classic Teenage Grunts which may occur.

FYI: If you're not already aware, you can subscribe to get a set of General Conference DVD's delivered to your home for about $14/year, when you're ordering your Church magazines. Pretty cool, huh? You can also order lots of Church videos for extremely low prices from the Church distribution center at: www.ldscatalog.org If you're really up a creek, Extreme Home Makeover or Lassie on DVD might do in a pinch, but try to keep the torture factor to a minimum for all involved when subjecting your family to what you think (or they think) is wholesome entertainment.

* Get everyone together (Are you noticing a theme here? Good!), have your prayer, and pull out a board game - preferably one the whole family likes, if such a thing exists. It's OK to have a "kiddie" game for younger kids and an older one for the teenagers - but keep everyone in the same room. Our family likes "Apples to Apples." Even though the little ones need some help reading - there's really no way they can mess that one up. I mean, really. You can try Duck Duck Goose or Mother May I or Simon Says, too. Or croquet, if the weather's nice and your children aren't the type to misuse the wickets for ulterior purposes of sibling vengeance.

* Get everyone together in the car, have your prayer, and head off to Dairy Queen (budget allowing). Pizza Palace is OK too. Or go for a drive-thru taste test: Who REALLY has the best French Fries? Order one large fry and hand out a few to everyone, then go to the next place and do it again. Until you're either tired, out of time or money, or you're all sick.

* Get everyone together in front of the piano, have your prayer, and have a family sing-along. Hymns and Primary songs are ideal for FHE, but hey, if you're having fun jamming to "Yesterday" or "Come Sail Away," why not? You're together. *Reality Check: We haven't actually tried this one out yet - at least 1/3 of my kids would revolt. (Man... that statistic sounds so familiar... wonder why?) Go with what's right for your family.

"And a quick lesson idea for when you haven't planned so great," Linda says, "but you're up for a little more duty than the above exercises: Pull out the Friend, New Era, or Ensign, Church News, Preach My Gospel, or the scriptures, and open to a random page. Discuss whatever topic, story, article, or verse you find there. Those work too.

"We've found if we keep serious discussions to ten to fifteen minutes and bookend it with a little fun or nonsense, the kids hold their attention a little better - okay, a LOT better - than when one or the other parent (or both of us) try to wax eloquent and complicate up the simplicity of the Gospel by inserting lots and lots and lots of words - IE, lectures. Keep it fun.

"The point is to stick together, and stick to it. You're the parents. You're in charge. On some level, kids get this concept. (Even if they don't like it all that much.) Once they know you mean business, and they are not getting out of this obligatory "family time," they might even start to enjoy it."

Home Evenings With Linda Paulson Adams' Family--Part I

Anne Bradshaw — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 13:57:00 +0000

Linda Paulson Adams is the author of two LDS novels set in the Last Days, which lead up to the building of the New Jerusalem. Read the first five chapters of Prodigal Journey and Refining Fire on her website at www.alyssastory.com, where you may also order autographed copies of her books. She is hard at work on the third and final book in the trilogy, and plans to complete it this year. Linda also works as a freelance editor, public speaker, singer, and songwriter.

According to Linda, Family Home Evenings in her home range from the well-planned (rare), coordinated and organized to the more frequent "What are we doing tonight? Eeek, it's 7:30 already!" variety. She says, “The thing we feel is most critical is to HOLD THE MEETING: ready or not, here it comes!”

She continues, “Don't just not have it because you forgot to plan anything. Don't skip it because you're tired, the kids are whiny, nobody seems to be listening, someone's missing, or the game's on. HOLD THE MEETING. Period.”

The Adams family has six children. The oldest is preparing for college soon and the youngest is in kindergarten. As Linda says, “We have a variety of ages to keep interested, which is a challenge. And as lifetime LDS parents, we're well-schooled in the ideal FHE routine, which means opening and closing songs which are perfectly matched up to well-thought out lessons, with excellently prepared and interesting visual aids, during which all the children are perfectly reverent and participating in a lovely Gospel discussion . . .

Meaning (ahem), no one is running amok with underwear on their head, calling out inappropriate answers relating to some anatomical body part or function, poking their sibling with some pointy object, or asking those unanswerable ‘But where did Heavenly Father come from?’ sorts of questions, none of which has anything whatsoever to do with the lesson at hand.”

“Yeah,” she continues, “Let's get back to reality. Life is messy. And - news flash - mortal life wasn't meant to be perfect. Perfect comes later. A lot later. As in, in heaven. (In fact, if you do a careful study of the scriptures, even Christ didn't label himself perfect until after He was resurrected.) So let's just give that up right now and focus on trying. All you Star Wars fans out there, I'm going to offend you right now, so close your eyes and skip this paragraph: Yoda was wrong. Let me repeat: That cute, fuzzy Muppet with an uncanny resemblance to President Kimball was not actually any sort of prophet, and he was wrong.

“Yoda told Luke Skywalker, "Do or do not - there is no try." Wrong! False doctrine. There is too try. And in my universe anyway, trying counts!

“Sure. Once in a while we hit pay dirt and actually have one of those cool, ideal, and structured evenings. We do strive for it. That's the ideal. But I have real children - a lot of them - and try as I might, they don't all behave. And they don't all, always, get along with each other or want to be there. (Example phrase: "I'd like it better if [insert name of random sibling] didn't have to be here.")

“And any of you with a teenager most likely knows the sound I call The Grunt. It's an answer, a shrug, a pledge of annoyance all at once. Hearing The Grunt during Family Home Evening most likely elicits from one or both parents' mouths the rapidly-fired innuendo that someone in the family is behaving, ahem, ahem, like unto Laman and Lemuel. Which accusation most likely elicits yet another Grunt. Pretty soon, the living room sounds like we're raising livestock instead of children.

“Most of the time we try really hard to get some doctrinal discussion in there, spend five to ten minutes going over the family calendar, and call it good. Our most successful discussions lately have centered around Preach My Gospel and current Conference talks.”

To be Continued! Tune in next week for Part II.

Home Evenings With Annette Lyon's Family

Anne Bradshaw — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 14:51:00 +0000

Author, Annette Lyon, Utah's 2007 Best of State Fiction Medalist, shares her family's experience holding Family Home Evenings, and shows how they merge commitments in ways that fulfill more than one requirement.

Annette has written many books, including her Temple series, House on the Hill, At the Journey's End, and the recent Spires of Stone, which features the Logan Temple.

"Between Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, Duty to God, and Faith in God," Annette says, "our children have so many things they need to pass off that it sometimes gets overwhelming. We've found that using Family Home Evening as a chance to pass off some items for these programs works well."

She continues, "Service projects, scripture reading and discussions, musical and cultural experiences, teaching lessons, reading from the general conference reports, memorizing the Articles of Faith, and more are all requirements that can be easily adapted to Family Home Evenings with little preparation but big results.

We recently spent several weeks going through the "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet during Family Home Evening, covering two or three topics each week. We'd read a section, the associated scripture, and then discuss what it means to us and why it's important to live by those values. It was a wonderful opportunity to recommit our family to the standards and to explain to the younger children why they are so important."

More FHE Ideas!

Anne Bradshaw — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 23:30:00 +0000

This week, we have more ideas from Sherry Ann Miller, "writer of miracles," and author of Mama's Lemon Pie.

"Each week before Family Home Evening," Sherry Ann says, "we already had a topic assigned (we rotated assignments at the end of each FHE), and everyone had a full week to prepare. The kids tried to think of ways to make the refreshments and game or activity relate back to the lesson topic. It was always interesting to learn a little more each lesson the children gave. Many of them "traded" lesson assignments with each other when they were in Seminary, because they often learned something in Seminary that they were dying to share with the family."

Sherry Ann continues, "Back in the 80s, I recall learning how children were more likely to stay in the Gospel as they grew older if the family observed Family Home Evenings on a regular basis. This observation had a great impact on me and my husband, and we were delighted that we had already decided FHE should be the single, most important thing we did together with our family.

"Today, our children are grown and we have twenty-seven grandchildren, and all of them enjoy spending time with each other . . . the grandchildren, too. We can see the love and compassion they have for one another, and we realize their family-oriented lifestyles were nurtured during Family Nights. We're glad we took FHE so seriously back when the children really needed it."

Home Evenings With Josi S. Kilpack's Family

Anne Bradshaw — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:01:00 +0000

I feel the reason Family Home Evenings are so difficult to accomplish is because of their extreme value in binding families, which makes them number one target for the Adversary.

Listen to Josi S. Kilpack, author of many LDS books (Sheep’s Clothing and others) and see if her experience sounds familiar.

“I’m afraid that my family home evenings aren’t quite ‘writable’ since we’re hit and miss and often doing a cub scout or young women thing to pass something off—or like last night, we delay until Dad gets home at 7:30, then forget about this homework project and that phone call and Dad goes in to record the game and gets sucked in while. I sit down at the computer for JUST ONE MINUTE and BAM it’s 9:30 and time to berate the kids for staying up too late, and this one says he didn’t get any dinner, and that one remembers she has to write a book report and this one (that’s me) wants to go to bed.”

There are two things I love about Josi’s comments. First, she’s honest enough to admit that holding Family Home Evening isn’t easy. Second, at least the family does make an effort and succeeds now and again—and now and again is way better than never. Her description of one success made me chuckle.

“The best FHE we’ve had over the last 6 months,” Josi said, “was a lesson on how our bodies work, and why we need to treat them with respect. The part that held their attention was when I explained in detail the urinary system of the body, why pee is supposed to be light yellow, and that they all really need to start flushing the toilet.”

I have the feeling Josi’s children will find that particular lesson popping into their minds throughout their lives, and it will make a difference to their health and spirituality, because body and spirit work together.

It’s never too late to hold Family Home Evenings, no matter what age our children, or where we find ourselves in life--or what obstacles we need to navigate.

Family Night With Julie Coulter Bellon's Family

Anne Bradshaw — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 13:41:00 +0000

This week, Canadian writer of unique LDS Romantic Suspense novels, Julie Coulter Bellon, shares an excellent idea from a Christmas Family Home Evening. Julie is also the author of #1 Deseret Book Best Seller, Be Prepared: A Parents Guide to Boy Scouts and the Duty to God Award -- What You Should Know.

“One of our family traditions,” Julie says, “has been making a laminated 8 1/2 by 11 inch ward list with the names, addresses, and phone numbers on one side and a ward map on the other and giving those out as a Christmas gift to our ward. It's nice to have when new neighbors move in, so you can go and greet them throughout the year, but it's a really practical, fun gift to give during the holidays. We make it a bright color so it's never lost in a pile of paper, we do different colors for each year so we can keep each year straight and any changes that may have occurred, and we also put a magnet on it so it can be magnetized to the refrigerator as well. That way it's always handy!”

She continues, “When we go out as a family to pass out the gifts, we make an evening of it. It's just a really great way to get to know your neighbors better as well as spend time together as a family doing a service for your ward family.”

One of Julie’s family, fifteen year old Lauren, adds, "It's really fun to go to everyone's house and wish them a Merry Christmas."

Home Evenings with Jeanne McKinney's Family

Anne Bradshaw — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 18:02:00 +0000

Author and working screenwriter, Jeanne McKinney is trying to get films made that have a positive impact on the industry and will give audiences not only an exciting entertainment experience, but also a spiritual lift--the perfect entertainment for that special Family Home Evening activity.

Check out Jeanne's website at The Eagle Warrier Trilogy and turn up the sound for some of the glorious music composed especially for the movies by renowned composer, Alan Williams. The trilogy is grabbing much attention at film festivals.
Jeanne and I have also collaborated on a new screenplay coming soon – yet another great film for a family night out. More details on that later.

With one son at home, Jeanne and her husband find Family Night can still be fun, informative, and sometimes important for survival.

Jeanne says, "One activity my family benefited from was a personal Emergency Response course. My husband taught us how to best react when helping people in trouble with sudden health issues, trauma, accident victims, etc. He had taken a course through his work where he became certified, and passed it on to us. We practiced on each other.

"One could most likely find basic information on a Red Cross or American Medical Association site on what to do with heart attack, shock, drowning, snake bite, choking, broken bones, burns, etc...until professional help can arrive. It could be part of an Emergency preparedness family plan, along with food and water storage.

"As we've gone through two major wildfires and experienced an emergency response involving millions of people of all ages and health conditions, sometimes there are not enough medical personal to go around. Sometimes the disaster itself prevents response access to the injured or sick, if they are trapped, or stayed behind for whatever reason. Its good to know basic emergency procedures that can help save or life or at least, not complicate the situation until a emergency response team can arrive.

"Hospitals and medical personnel are on high alert during these times. One entire hospital had to be evacuated during one of biggest of the ten fires, the Witch fire, in October 2007, causing an overload on other facilities. Power can be an issue to when it comes to treating the sick and injured. Some areas lost all power, which can hinder medical treatment in some cases. San Diego County was on power rations for a while, because power lines had been burned or gone down in the wind, creating a dangerous overload on the main lines. Parts of major freeways and roads were closed due to fire encroachment, which prevents access to Red Cross Evacuation Centers and area hospitals for people living in remote, rural or even city areas surrounded by fire.

"We found that knowing how to best treat acute emergency situations can come in handy for oneself, one's family or others in need."

Home Evening with Heather B. Moore's Family

Anne Bradshaw — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 19:56:00 +0000

LDS author of the renowned Out of Jerusalem
series, Heather B. Moore, shares Home Evening
ideas that she and her husband have used in their
family of young children. I particularly like the group lesson creations. Now there's an idea that would sell, if ever there was one.

"Over the last several years," Heather says, "our Family Home Evenings have consisted of reading a story from the Children's Friend and playing games.

"I used to be in a FHE group where we'd all spend weeks making cute FHE lessons and pass them around. But when I started writing, all those kinds of things went out the window. So thank you Friend magazines. I love them.

"And thank you Apples to Apples game--you are my kids' favorite."

FHE with Sherry Ann Miller's Family

Anne Bradshaw — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 16:34:00 +0000

I thought it would be fun to ask some of my author friends what they do (or did) for Family Home Evenings. This post is Part One of several from romance author, Sherry Ann Miller.

"Family Home Evening was intended to be the most important evening of the week for families," Sherry Ann says. "That's why the Lord included it within the Gospel program.

"Knowing this to be true, my hubby and I agreed that FHE would occur on Monday nights without fail. Nothing stood in its way except a dire emergency (such as a broken leg or an auto accident that occurred within an hour or two of the designated FHE). Church activities, school activities, telephone calls, television and the internet were not allowed to interfere with FHE.

"Everyone in our ward, and within the circles of our children's friendships, knew if they called on Monday night, someone from the household would answer, 'Hello, it's Family Home Evening at the Miller Family house.' Needless to say, after a few weeks, people learned not to call the Miller's after six P.M. on Mondays. Either that, or the children were so mortified at this new custom, they warned their friends not to call on Mondays."

Teen Foam Evenings

Anne Bradshaw — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 16:22:00 +0000

As mentioned in a previous post, these blogs will address a variety of Home Evening situations, and today we’re looking at a house full of teens.

If your family consists of babes to teens, then you might consider splitting the evening, with a mini-lesson and game for the little ones first, followed by treats, then, when the young ones are in bed, hold a discussion for their older brothers and sisters.

I wrote my new book, Please, No Zits! & Other Short Stories for LDS Youth, not only for a fun read, but also as another resource for use in conjunction with scriptures and the FHE manual. Sometimes, if it’s a teenager’s turn to prepare and present the lesson, he or she can be less than enthusiastic. If they have an exciting story that holds their interest, they may be more willing to read it and lead a discussion about the contents.

It really is a great opportunity to listen and understand your teen’s thinking, and to discuss problems before (or after) they arise. Many of the sixteen stories relate to everyday concerns--such as dating when there are no apparent dates; cheating; saying all the wrong things; low self esteem; mission worries; sharing the Gospel; and much, much more for both young men and for young women.

Why not give it a try with a poignant and fun Christmas story? Click here to read Joseph and His Technicolor Nightmare and see if it works for your family.

Getting Organized

Anne Bradshaw — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 16:25:00 +0000

If your Family Home Evening is on the wild side, with kids out of control, try buying or making a chart that divides responsibilities among every family member--including toddlers. You can even have a Home Evening where you all make the chart. Don't worry if it doesn't come close to perfect. Children love seeing their work on display and feel ownership if they're part of the process.

When our children were young, we made a chart from felt (more great felt ideas coming soon), and created flower pots with holes in the top for Popsicle sticks, each of which had an assignment written on it. This worked well for many years, and now our oldest son and his family do the same thing. It’s never perfect, and mom needs to keep reminding, but if consistently followed, the chart idea can be effective and helps children learn responsibility.

For those new to Family Home Evenings, assignment suggestions are as follows. If you have less than seven people, some can take two. If you have more than seven, split the music into choosing and leading, and invent other assignments such as People Gatherer or Official Welcomer.

Song (choose and lead the singing)
Prayer
Lesson (short for small attention spans)
Activity or Game
Giving next week’s assignments
Prayer
Treats

For What Purpose?

Anne Bradshaw — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 13:37:00 +0000

Before diving into a variety of home evening ideas, I thought it might be good to outline what we are trying to achieve by holding these activities each week. The First Presidency of the Church promised members way back in 1915 that if they set aside one special evening for activities and learning as a family, faith would develop, and children and parents would bond, gaining protective powers with which to fight off evil influences of the world.

Now that’s a promise we could all benefit from in these latter days. More so now than in 1915. What a wonderful tool. I often wonder why many don’t take advantage of it. Is it because it’s not easy? Or because we can’t see immediate results? Or we have too many children of mixed ages? Or children complain because other activities are more attractive and compelling? Or do we simply get too tired to cope?

In the April 2004 New Era (“Making Monday Memories”) Ryan Carr says, “President Gordon B. Hinckley appreciates invitations to community gatherings on Monday evenings, but he turns them down “with the explanation that I have reserved Monday as family home evening time. I earnestly hope that each of you will do the same.”

I hope that over the coming months, this blog can help more families listen to the Prophet’s voice and fight the good fight. Family Home Evenings are the way to go. They are our hope for a blessing filled future. Let’s face it, no one wants to look back one day and say “If only . . . ”

The Origin of the term: "Foam Evening"

LDSFiles.com — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 23:44:00 +0000

When our four children were growing up in England, one toddler couldn’t get his tongue around “Family Home Evening,” so this much anticipated weekly event became known as Foam Evening.

Looking back, it seems the new title was more appropriate than little Jeff realized. As parents, we often came close to foaming at the mouth with frustration. The funny thing is that despite all the chaos and interruptions, they still remember those evenings with fondness, and claim they really did learn something.

So if your longing to follow the Prophet’s counsel and hold regular Family Home Evenings sometimes feels like you’re fixing an inner tube that pops a new hole every time you pump, don’t despair. Instead, take a deep breath, smile, and remember Winston Churchill’s famous words—“Never, never, never give up.” Believe me; it’s all worth it in the end. Ask any one of our family. And the ones with children now hold Foam Evenings of their own.

To help others in this grand adventure, I’ve been asked to blog on a regular basis about things that worked for our family, and for others. I look forward to sharing memories and inventing new ones, because FHEs are for all ages and all stages of life.